Thursday, October 06, 2005
I'm grateful for the emails and comments that I receive as encouragement for this blog.
I'm liking it that other large families are reading this. I'm not sure that I am any help though as I too am struggling to learn how to best deal with all these issues. If nothing else I hope that by sharing our stuff that others out there will not feel like they are the only ones dealing with all this.
In adoption we never get grateful children out of the system. We simply get angry children...and rightly so. As parents I feel it is our job to teach, nurture and encourage our difficult children to become functioning adults. They already come to us so disadvantaged that it is always an uphill climb. Especially those of us who adopt older children.
I have done this long enough now though to have seen over a dozen of my chilren grow into their twenties and actually become appreciative adults as they remember me standing by them and, most importantly, not allowing them to make excuses or become professional "victims" of life's circumstances.
I have held them all accountable for their actions sometimes at great embarrasment to me. Having your child's name in the community police blotter three times is not a great advertisement for adoption. But later seeing that child grow up and not be an inmate is rewarding. That dear one now works, pays his bills, and is a great father to his daughter.
I've been a mom for 32 years now and in just 15 more years I will be finished raising school age children. I'll have my ever-expanding then 64 year old butt out in the garden from sunup to sun down with no one yelling, "Mom, let's EAT right now!" At least that is what I dream about.