Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A Lady On Probation


Joey's Probation Officer called me last night to reschedule as she had to be in court. I told her that Joey had acted right good for the entire month to which she asked me if he'd told me about a lady from the last visit?

I'd noticed that lady, a very hard looking woman, close to my age, one who must have chosen to walk down some tough criminal roads, apparently she'd overheard Joey acting stuck on stupid, and listened to my angry response. I'd left Joey there while I went to court about Fabian.

That particular lady had asked the P.O. if she could talk to Joey, and she'd lit into him like white on rice.

Made him cry.

Told him how much she wished she could have a do-over, that she'd never have burned so many bridges, nor mistreated her parents. Ripped him a new one for about 15 minutes.

That meant so much more to Joey that my college-educated, retired schoolmarm techniques.

For an entire month I'd thought that finally my influence over this child had made a difference...but it was the words from that other lady that had the impact he so needed.

I asked the P.O. to please relay my gratitude and my appreciation to her at her next visit.

Yesterday I'd asked Joey to switch workdays with Miriam, as I needed a babysitter while I took three teams to soccer practice, Vanessa needed to go to training at McDonalds, and that left only Edgar as a babysitter if he even got home on time.

I generally don't have my grown boys babysit. I've never had any inclination that this wouldn't be a good idea, it is just that they are so uninterested in any nurturing capacity, rather they are more willing and able to help me with the hard work, not to sissy babysit.

Joey balked at first, I was immaturely pissy right back to him, later he said he'd trade hours. I told him, once again, that is what family members do...we help each other out.

So he traded, but for nothing, as after I fed and dressed everyone ready to go, cleats, shin guards, etc, rain rolled in and cancelled everything.

When Edgar and I picked Joey up after work, Joey told me the entire story about that lady at the Probation Office, that she really, really got to him. He didn't want to end up old (my age), bitter and totally full of regrets over horrendous choices made in life.

I know, from experience, that the war is not over...just another huge hurdle has been climbed.