I've been reading with great interest, Green L.A. Girl's blog for quite some time now, amazed and happy for her that it's now part of the L.A. Times, an impressive accomplishment.
My other blog and several other bloggers there have found themselves with some filthy hateful comments, which have since been deleted of course, from some vehement and profane anti-adoption folks. I don't even know how to respond, nor if I should, as it's almost like an anti-breathing campaign as there are no viable alternatives...where would they prefer that orphans go, or anyone else who has unwilling parents? Don't even get me started...
We heard from an astoundingly happy Jose last night, I know he was med free and Dr. Mandy had explained to me how Jose is able to recognize, at times, how much he needs help, and to now be somewhere that he feels he doesn't have to be in control of his behaviors, but rather to be helped by professionals, must be a bit of a relief. Jose even lectured Paloma briefly on the phone about being good.
She'd had a tough time yesterday in therapy, we feared a rage was coming but it never materialized instead she got distracted with Sabrina who was painting her bedroom a lovely shape of purple, with permission of course.
I have an email program via my other blog that I'd been lax about checking, knowing I could read the comments on-line and found myself with 814 emails to go through. I did so last night while sipping on an utterly delicious cilantro soaked soup that Carolina made for me.
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14 comments:
Way to go Jose! :) Time has a way of healing. It is days like that you hold on to.
I know my mother would say if you dont have nothing nice to say don't say it at all. Those who can not open thier mind to accepting those of us who adopt there must be something wrong with them. I have never understood people who can not clear there head to see why we do what we do. But then again adoption is not for everyone. They are probally the ones whos children we are raising. Mad that they couldn't do it and we are successful. :) Keep up the good work and they are not worth any of our time that is dedicated to our babies.
I'm bewildered. Like you said, it's like being against breathing. The reason I so admire you and all the other folks who've committed themselves to the children of others is that you are all far too busy DOING to spend any time lurking around being anti anything! I'm sorry those folks waste valuable energy with such nonsense.
I guess I'm a little confused...I didn't know there was an anti-adoption conglomerate out there. I had to re-read your blog to make sure I got it right. I'm curious as to their arguments against adoption. What do they prefer...orphan asylums? I guess everybody's got to be against something.
Great news on Jose.
You know, most of those folks haven't ever fostered or taken in children. It's easy for them to hold on to their ideologies because they don't have to do anything about the issue except talk! I just don't listen to them. Glad you deleted the comments.
Thanks for the shoutout -- and for reading :)
I didn't know that there were folks like that either until lately. It's shocking and I deleted everything, or rather the adoption.com editors are trying to do so.
I want to know more about that soup! A recipe maybe?
The only anti-adoption people I know of are people who believe that teenage mothers are pressured into putting up their child(ren) for adoption and/or that the money involved in international adoption results in basically baby-stealing rings. There is some evidence for the latter happening in China and in Guatemala, but not for older kid adoption. Also, the teen mothers being pressured is largely a product of the 40's, 50's and 60's, now with birth control and abortion, very few women bear children that they don't choose to raise themselves (or attempt to). I can't believe anyone would be against foster care adoption or international adoption of older children. It's insane.
The anti-adoption ones are accusing me of being a barren b*&^#, having foster kids and of using attachment therapy; three things that don't apply to me anyway. I don't understand where the vitrole is coming from either.
I have to say I have some reservations personally about international adoption in some circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy when ANY child anywhere in need of a loving home finds one, regardless of the circumstances. I will not argue with success.
However, I have long had grave concerns about the Pollyanna parents who go to Russia with stars in their eyes, get little to no information on their history and possible problems, meet these older children who are taught how to say "Hello" and "I love you Mommy and Daddy" in English and nothing else, uproot them from their country and bring them to an English-speaking country, and then basically return them like a pair of shoes that don't quite match your outfit when the children learn enough English to start displaying attachment problems and such.
Since then can't ship them back to Russia and the foster care agencies will not generally deal with them, and they don't want to pay child support, they go underground with it, moving children in what can be an illegal fashion. Nobody is looking after the welfare of these children; fortunately some of them land in good homes (you will recognize a couple of other large family folks in that article), but I fear greatly for the ones who don't. I have reservations about this, although it isn't the norm, I know.
I also sort of don't like going overseas to adopt when kids right in your home town need homes. Somehow that doesn't seem fair to me.
Those are my only objections, though. I don't object to adoption overall in any way. I just question the safety and ethics of some international adoption situations.
I really only wanted the cilantro soup recipe...
But, as I read comments, I HAD to respond to Suzanne. In that article, Suzanne, *I* am the person who was "in charge" of two "underground networks". I'm also mentioned by name - Theresa Showell. Without going into details, be careful of what you read. This article is full of part-truths and twisted-truths, perhaps some real truth, and a bit of made up stuff thrown in for good measure(although that reporter sure seemed nice when we talked).......
AND, regardless, I do agree with you about the families going to Russia and their agencies not having prepared them for the realities of raising children who've been orphaned, witnessed brutality, and then institutionalized. I have FIVE adopted Russian-born children who were originally adopted by families without the ability to parent the level of need that these girls had. Sad for EVERYONE in those cases... I hope we can all be more outspoken about the lack of education and the lack of support to help all adoptive families of troubled children, regardless of how they come to us! It's a big problem for families.
Then, like Cindy said, being against adoption seems a bit like being against breathing. There is a need. Kids can't grow up healthy moving from place to place, without a permanent home. Sorry you're hearing from some who seem to think otherwise, Cindy.
And, still, the recipe?? Hmmm?? :-)
Hi Theresa-I learned so much from the articles you wrote about Caroline on your other blog-thank you!
It just scares me that kids come from out of country and then possibly get shuttled elsewhere because of behaviour problems, and this is done without a supervising agent of some sort-there is no one checking on the welfare of these kids. Some are very lucky and wind up with you and other great parents, but I worry about those who don't, is all. It scares me to think they could wind up in a bad abusive family and have nobody looking out for their welfare. This is what concerns me. I'm sorry the article wasn't very truthful, but that gave me the creeps to think that a family would do such things, and it seems to be fairly well substantiated elsewhere that those parents were abusive. :( I hope I didn't offend you by saying that.
I also wish parents were given more education by their agencies too, because these sad events might not happen.
I will give you my cilantro soup recipe :)
Carolina doesn't give out the recipes. She's one of those natural born gifted cooks who can make up amazing dishes to feed her family and her mama.
Well, if I can't have the recipe, can I just borrow Carolina then?? :-)
Enjoy the blessings of her gifts - being able to prepare nourishing and comforting foods AND being willing to share that gift with her family!
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