Three Kids in Summer School

Thanks to Hannah and her mom, my lovely Viper Girl will be attending summer school tomorrow. She's apologized and is taking her restrictions well.

Y'all know how much we've appreciated, and certainly needed, your prayers.

Tony, Mayra and Vanessa will be guests of the school system this month, a small price to pay for one's eventual education that they seem to not want. Well, I want it for them, and by golly, I'm gonna push until they no longer need my heave ho.

"Good luck with that," would be Edgar's usual response, as he continues to watch me be who I say I am...authenticity and my commitment is all they want, and slowly they're learning that they've had it since Day One.

Update of the Day

Yolie just put some CUTE photos on her blog.

Hearing from Vanessa wasn't real pleasant. I reminded her that I wasn't the one she'd had a problem with, mapped out for her that it is possible to finish high school on time if she shows up there tomorrow for her course recovery class but it was like talking to someone with little capability of comprehending the ramifications of her choices. There's little I can do at this point other than pray for the lights to come on.

Another Girl For Our Family

That sweet man Daniel came over yesterday with plans to renovate our very large sandbox. He'd built it, maybe 10 years ago, we don't remember and it's been heavily used ever since. Driving me in my new truck to Lowes, I'd also decided to use the only remaining skill I'd learned in my second marriage, which was to instill drip irrigation.

We've been in a horrible drought, reading about the rain in Dallas, a dome of high pressure still keeping it away from Georgia, we're now looking at a foot deficit in rainfall. My back garden is so large that I'm not going to be able to afford drip irrigation everywhere. Yes, I am, with a positive mindset I bet I'll stumble upon used equipment for sale. 17 40'X 4' raised beds, I have at least that many beds that just grow flowers, yesterday Chuy and I only had enough tubing and emitters for one bed.

Daniel and Sonny took CW and Chuy under their wings, giving Chuy the attention and emotional reinforcement he so needed after his emotional breakdown the night before. Knowing that both older brothers had similar backgrounds to him, knowing they'd been parented by me for so long that they'd forgotten their original nightmares, and realizing that they, like him, were both younger boys from Texas sibling groups. Chuy admires every single aspect of Daniel (so do I for that matter) and I couldn't have bought the kind of therapy that Daniel provided for him yesterday. Plus our sandbox looks good again, for awhile there the dilapidation was overwhelming.

Ray hollered, "I wanted a boy one," after I congratulated him on the news he'd just heard. Sarah's pregnant with the fourth baby grandchild of this year, all four girls will have been born within a five month time period.

Sarah brought me this dish she'd cooked, on fire for her CSA venture, I'd shared it with Memaw (Sabrina), and we both went ga-ga over it. My weight is back up to normal, I feel very strong and healthy now.

Still no word from Vanessa, although her high school guidance counselor and I enrolled her in s summer class to make up for what she failed this spring, if I hear from her, this could be her chance to graduate on time next spring. Miriam has been calling all over the county for her, a small county, hard to hide, and we do have a suspicion about where she is right now. Sadly, her two baby brothers, now 10 & 11, have not expressed that they miss her; her meanness, negativity and continuous snapping at the kids had gotten on their last nerves. Quiet and peace often descend when ill tempered kids aren't here. Duh.

In all these years though, I've never had a middle child of a sibling group bolt. Her older sibs, 18 and 20, are still living with me, irked and impatient with this dumb choice of Vanessa, that could potentially sideline her education and future plans.

And my sweet son Jesse, stationed in Texas, still recovering from the awful blow of losing his expected baby, dislocated his shoulder playing softball for the Navy team. I sat there thinking about when he played for our church team, he and Big Joe, silly and having fun in comparison to Daniel then playing so seriously for his Little League and high school teams. And then I wanted to expound in my head about 'how time flies' until I realized it made me sound like such an old poot.

An Appropriate Meltdown

After hours of soccer camp, swimming all afternoon, and scrimmage games last night, I'd finally maneuvered everyone in bed late when Jose decided to rage for the second time in one day.

He was insisting that I turn off the attic fan. Common refrain: like that's the real issue.

He was so loud, angry and insistent that his four birth siblings all migrated to the bottom of the steps to my room to assess the damage. Javy, huge now and protective, positioned himself next to me, wondering if Jose was gonna snap.

To make a very long story short, his other sibs and I sat on the stairs while they all wailed out their fears, trepidations and concerns over Jose's future. He'd stormed off when I'd suggested the obvious, that he liked holding on to his anger.

But one gifted darling, the one who won't admit he loves me, told me that he trusted me, and then he sat in a heap on the floor and sobbed for two hours. Ripped my heart out to think that there are so many children worldwide, just like him, that won't get a chance for a normal family life. He usually doesn't cry, he holds it all in, checking everything out, but last night, realizing he'd been here for five years and had settled in to a very normal existence in a world that he really liked, feeling emotionally threatened by Jose's inability to function normally, he just let it go.

He looked like a pitiful two year old toddler, and it angers me to think about how badly he'd been treated in his early life before he joined our family. I can't hardly allow myself to think about it at all.

He's 11 now, but he made a pallet in my room to sleep on, and he curled up with his face wrapped up in a blanket and slept hard; barely making eye contact this morning, certain that now he's allowed himself to be vulnerable, I'll leave him or let him down.

For once, I'm holding back, not pushing him or even reinforcing last night's events. He'll watch me like a hawk, note any inconsistencies, but he'll come around 100%. Daniel is his role model, his hero, and he's watched Daniel attach to me, trust me, love me, and safely, assuredly become an adult, while remaining my son forever.

Yolie astutely pointed out that my new, used truck has Texas plates. "Mama, all your kids are going to think someone's coming back to get them." I need to tend to that.

Truck Dreams Realized

Beautiful Mayra, pictured here, is the one I'd pulled a raging Vanessa off of, she was punching her with all her might in our pantry. I may be 52 years old but when adrenaline kicks in, I can maintain, I'd yanked Vanessa off Mayra before the other two kids in the pantry could even call for help.

Vanessa, seething, stormed out and we still haven't heard from her. Tony'd told me that this fight was over a cake mix. Yeah, like that's the real issue.

I appreciate all y'all's emails and prayers; I'm believing that she'll be prayed back home...much against her will.

Soccer Camp starts this morning and I'd blogged my gratitude about our source here. Counting my blessings, instead of bemoaning our situations, sure keeps my head above water.

We'd had a wonderful Memorial Day; Monica, Dewayne and Courtney had joined us at the pool. Dewayne, fairly new to our family, tried hard, but couldn't resist the pushing games that go on around here, tossing Bubbas who then banded together and retaliated by throwing the fully dressed 26 year old man in the water.

I've been searching for about a year for a used truck, my 1986 Toyota finally unfixable anymore, but it has served us well. Yesterday I found my dream truck (price). I wanted a 5 speed, 4 cylinder, ext. cab Toyota or Nissan from the 1990s without a sissy bed liner that was underpriced or would accept my lowball offer. Finally I found it, my patience was rewarded, I'm in hog heaven, and today I pick it up.

Just a fun day, I got a good bit of garden time in as well. The kids were volunteering to haul wood chips for me, mulch is the only thing keeping it alive after a month of no rain. It's too hot in Georgia anyway to grow head lettuce but I grow several kinds of leaf lettuces each year. The fresh spinach has been good too.

Miriam's Aggravation

Some thoughts...Vanessa's older siblings have now both graduated from high school, have bought cars and are holding down jobs. Instead of Vanessa seeing that as a role model situation, I'm thinking she fears she won't be able to measure up. She has bigger emotional fears and issues, she failed (accidentally on purpose) an elective class after she was told if she failed anything, she wouldn't march with her class next year.

We'd already talked about that though, Plan B was a summer school class, or next year after-school class to catch her up. We'd also made a date for her driver's license (Tues) and getting her a job.

Maybe the thought was too overwhelming? Too much at once? But running isn't the answer either.

Miriam sat in my room late last night, angry with Vanessa, disappointed that her efforts had been ignored (Girlfriend I know how you feel) while Edgar is burying his head in the sand over the entire situation, doesn't want to think about it or know anything. Paternal over his sibs, this upsets him so he ignores it.

Miriam's underlying aggravation involved the fact that this should be a happy time for her, she earned her graduation pride, and Vanessa is sabotaging the event. Welcome to my world darling. "Miriam, this doesn't take away my pride in you at all. Nobody can take this milestone away from you. It's intrinsically yours."

Her younger siblings, and the rest of the younger kids, are somewhat relieved that she isn't here to snap at them yet they're uneasy over a potential loss; a change that is never easy to understand.

Viper Girl Returns and Vanishes

This picture was taken just an hour or so before Vanessa ran away. After punching the tar outta Mayra, she lit into Miriam verbally. Miriam was angry since she'd spent the entire day before with Vanessa, taking her out to lunch and job hunting.

Happy Graduation...who didn't see this coming? Holiday Hell on all occasions if possible.

I called the deputies once again. They took a report, fortunately I'd taken away her cell phone a couple of weeks ago after she'd tried to sneak out one night, the deputy got some phone numbers from it and wondered if we wanted to press charges.

Truly, right now, I don't want to do so. She's a good kid for a viper, and unless she's truly snapped I still believe we can salvage our relationship, especially since I wasn't involved in the fracas other than trying to make her stop pummeling Mayra.

They're going to look for her, but I doubt they'll find her. I believe she'll come home sooner or later to face the music. I'm listening to the police scanner now and I've heard nothing about her.

Sarah had gone to an elder in our church for prayer over this which I appreciated.

And, in spite of it all, a really good idea has come over me that I want to mull through and pray about until I get a go-ahead.

DUH!

"A new health scare erupted over soft drinks last night amid evidence they may cause serious cell damage. Research from a British university suggests a common preservative found in drinks such as Fanta and Pepsi Max has the ability to switch off vital parts of DNA.

The problem - more usually associated with ageing and alcohol abuse - can eventually lead to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases such as Parkinson's."

Read more...watch the soft drink industry try to squelch this....

David's Preaching

Linda B sent me to a site and I found this photo of yesterday's event. Short little Miriam, happy there in the first row of graduating seniors.

My hero, Bobby Cox, Best Manager in Baseball EVER, now was bestowed a link depicting his many tirades. Sarah had tried to cheer me up last night by telling me that Bobby Cox is only one away from being the most ejected coach in baseball history, the crowd chanting, "Bobby!" with the emphasis on the second syllable when he was thrown out. The man is passionate.

Speaking of passionate, it was imperative that I get to church today for our guest pastor who is known for his deep passion. Of course Jose had a predictable meltdown as I was loading everyone up, fortunately it was fairly short-lived for once.

And I was in Hog Heaven in church today. My former pastor preached, a very inspiring, unusually anointed, and highly motivating man of God. I had four favorite pastors in one room today, David, Tracy, Terry and Tony. It doesn't get much better than that.

It was David's preaching in the 1980s that taught me so much, that spurred me on to hear God's calling in my life. Tracy and his wife, Lisa, have been my mentors for 25 years, always there for my family and I, quietly demonstrating so much to me through their words and their lives.

I was OK for most of the service, at the end though with Tracy playing the piano to David's singing, it was hard for me to hold on emotionally. I've come a very long way from a rebellious young adult to where I am now, not where I used to be, not where I'm gonna be.

Mayra's feeling guilty that she caused Vanessa to leave. I'm reassuring her that not letting someone beat you up, doesn't make you the guilty party. Vanessa's anger issues are overflowing plus she failed a class, didn't put out any effort. Duh, that results in failure. I had just pointed out yesterday that anyone who crapped up Miriam's graduation exhilaration would be doing so simply out of jealousy. I was speaking to a non responsive Jose, not ever dreaming that it'd be Vanessa.I don't know where she is. I'm going to have to report her as a runaway.

Graduation Meltdowns and Fiascos

I'll say what's wrong with this picture right up front...Fabian, their remaining birth brother isn't here. We'll print this out anyway and send it to him, hopefully as motivation so that he'll get his life together and be able to live in society once again. I did get his grades yesterday and he's finally managed to pass eighth grade at age 15 1/2.

Miriam's high school graduation, the charter class of the newest high school in our county, would have gone off beautifully for my family had Jose not attacked Paloma. We separated them but Jose wouldn't get out of the van at the coliseum, even after I threatened to take away computer privileges for the summer. I couldn't wrestle someone who outweighs me, (Edgar had driven his own car, wasn't with me at the moment) nor could I have dragged him several blocks and expected him to not disrupt the ceremony.

I left him in the van, figuring if he ran, I'd file a police report. I just couldn't stand there and feed into his negative attention seeking behavior knowing it would only escalate.

As we left the ceremony, we noticed Jose with two deputies. Uh-oh.

I walked over, mad as a hornet at Jose, only to get a, "Hey Cindy," from the deputy. Turns out Jose had lodged himself into a bathroom stall and refused to get out for the deputies, two men with guns, he doesn't think he has to mind anyones directives.

I told them to press unruly child charges but we were in the next county over, it wasn't their jurisdiction, they were there only to help with graduation.

We decided they'd fill out a sheet, an incident report, since I need documentation of this obstreperous behavior. One of the deputies, new on the force, offered to drive it over Monday and not be the only deputy in the entire county who doesn't know where I live.

I knew that Miriam's graduation would set off alarm bells in kid's minds. It signifies a major life change, a family threat to them, she's grown now, they wonder and worry if she'll move out. Her baby birth brother, JoJo, had already pitched a royal fit at the house before we left, unwilling to put on Khaki pants on a Saturday. Uh-Huh, like that's the issue.

Back at home, Vanessa attacked her own birth sister, Mayra, was punching her with her fists so I had to jump in, separate them, and send Viper Girl to her room. Knowing the level of anger then and there, I wanted to wait before adding behavior restrictions. "We'll discuss this when you've cooled off."

"I'm leaving!" she screamed at me.

"Because I won't let you beat up Mayra? You're leaving because I'm protecting a 13 year old?" I asked in astonishment.

And she left.

There is no logic anywhere in sight.

Sarah's Kale

This picture of Heidi has no relevance to the fact that Sarah has posted.

Facing 10 Weeks of Summer

It's taken years but we might have finally outsmarted the hens who've been determined to be free range rather than confined to a large area. I'd prefer free range also if they'd stop scratching up my garden beds and eating the produce, but they won't so they need to be in their area. Scrounging around 50 acres to find eggs was never easy either. Sabrina gathered all these the other evening.

The drought right now is as serious as I've ever seen it in the last 30 years. Thanks God for the wood chip mulch, it's helping a great deal. I'm praying for rain.

We've survived yet another school year. I started blogging at the end of school two years ago (Thank you Claudia), nearly 2000 posts later I'd be mentally exhausted if I ever read back through what we've encountered over the two years. It's been bumpy, rocky and treacherous.

I had a sit down come-to-Jesus meeting with Jose last night. His noncompliance and deeply embedded victim mentality will cost him someday if he can't turn it around. A psych eval done on him awhile back detailed his illogical feelings that the world is a conspiracy against him. No cause and effect logic whatsoever. It's everyone else's fault always.

It boiled down to me explaining how it'd feel to locked in a cage (jail) where authorities would control his behavior if he couldn't do so. He's made great strides in five years but he has a very, very long way to go. His saving grace will be his deep love for his birth siblings, he merely tolerates the rest of us. He's a brainiac in math but reads on a second grade level, he'll be 13 in October.

Our last two summers were painfully difficult. I'd love an easy one; one that just involved the necessary, constant work involved in maintaining a family this size, not a summer that needs law enforcement. Dr.G and Dr. Mandy will both continue their intensive psychological/therapeutic work here, Tony gets summer school resources, and we have plenty of activities to keep ourselves busy.

And.....drum roll.........Miriam graduates from high school today. Congratulations darling girl!

Move On Fifth Graders

It's the last day of school. Tony had a meltdown by 6:30 this morning while Nando, exhausted, slept through it easily. Nando is so excited about Monday's upcoming soccer camp that nothing else is registering with him.

It's taking me forever to plow through this very small book, The Secret, and Mayra caught me nodding and mumbling aloud in agreement as I read it, I've seen "proof" too many times of the power of one's thoughts to believe otherwise. Heck, how do I think I put all this together? Our usually amazing family didn't spring up by accident, it was conceived and believed first in my mind, and I'm positive that along the way I attracted all the necessary resources and am still doing so.

I have so many more plans and dreams in my head, I remain excited about the future, anticipatory and thrilled. The Secret credits the universe for provision whereas I credit God, knowing He knows my needs. Many successful programs or theories credit a Higher Power. Duh, we can't do this alone.

It goes along with my yard sale theories, how everything I've needed appears sooner or later, more often sooner than later.

I just found out last night that the okra pods Jimmy T sent to me came from his grandfather's collection and have been grown in our end of the county for 100 years by this family. I adore stories like that. I reassured him that I'd continue the legacy of these seeds.

My three fifth graders, pictured here, (Allen obviously worried about the implications of finishing fifth grade) are leaving elementary school today for middle school, never an easy transition for children like mine, and I'm massively, deeply grateful to know that the middle school here is as loving, supporting and challenging as is our elementary school. Tony is once again facing summer school, but it is to build him up, make him better prepared to face fifth grade, not as a punishment for failing.

The Secret mentions some earlier writers that I'm unfamiliar with, I'll explore the internet today, tracking down old books that I'd love to read. I still prefer Napoleon Hill's writings, but this is way good also. I've underlined and highlighted 90% of the book, committing it to memory.

Estrella

Jimmy T, a wonderful middle school teacher for my kids, had given Sonny three large okra pods last season for me to get the seeds out of to plant this year. I'd done so, and then was working on planting Edamame soybeans, all this a month late, but I've been kinda busy, when my cell phone rang.

Within just a couple of hours, with no pushing; heck she got one foot in one stirrup, there was the head, other foot in, the whole body came out. A 10 second delivery. Unbelievable.

Estrella Marina has joined our family finally.

Monica, it's your turn now...

Runaway

Vanessa wanted to fight with the entire family last night. Bloated and moody from PMS she instigated a number of wildfires before I physically had to stop her from provoking Miriam into a fistfight. She hit herself in her own chest with a high heel in her own rage, slamming into her bathroom, her face swollen with hatred for us all.

In ultra-dramatic fashion, on an 85 degree evening, she put on her heavy letter jacket and shoes. Translation: I'm obviously running away, someone stop me please.

No one did.

She left.

BTDT.

I went upstairs to bed. I don't search for runaways, they all know that. Save the drama effort, it's wasted on me.

We live down a long, dark, dirt road. It's scary out there...

She came home an hour later and went to bed.

She quietly went to school this morning without a word.
We'll deal with this later though and she knows it.

Jonathan is continuing his three day meltdown. I don't want to blog yesterday twice, but after we hauled all the cardboard to the recycling center, swept the garage and went out to the back garden, he was still oppositional and trying to defy 90% of what I told him.

We both got distracted by yet another very large black snake that slithered out of the pen where I'd put the grouchiest rooster, in to the chicken yard where the hens were unafraid and Buddy the goose was more than curious. I'm so not Brave SnakeWoman Mama, I hollered for Sonny who, fortunately was off work and he tended to it in front of an audience of fascinated Bubbas.

Soccer playoffs continue, three teams are finished for the season, but we go back again tonight for Allen, CW, Paloma, Tony and Chuy's team. They are awesome. I'd pumped them up verbally again, CW even made a corner kick goal, he made two goals, and Paloma made one from mid field. Best game I'd ever watched and I've cheered on a million or so.

We didn't get home until 10 after four games and they were hungry and chowing down on everything. Heck I was so excited over the impending games that I'd fixed supper by 2:30 in the afternoon, we were finished by 4 and raring to go. I got so hungry on the field that I even ate crumbled up Nutter Butter cookies that Tony had squirreled away from his game snack, yuck, I never eat crud like that.

Saray and her kids stayed until all games were completed late last night. We'd run into a bunch of folks she knew, she lives south of Atlanta, and she's also one of my kids who pulled this number years ago. OK, sugar, make a statement, but now she's yearning for the life she left here out in the country with family and fiends.

She's pictured here with a friend, Jessie, who could be described as the wife of the youth pastor who helped pray Big Joe through this tumultuous teen years, or the baby sister of one of Sarah's friends, or the daughter of the funniest man I know, or Isabella's mama or the daughter-in-law of the couple who gave her her second longest-running job, or many more descriptions that detail life in a small town where everyone knows everyone and their families.

Holding My Head Above Water

The good part of the weekend is having Deysi, Marcela, Saray and their kids here. Most of them spent Sunday night so I get another day with them, Tabby is thrilled to be with Heidi. Carolina and her kids came by last night and today I'll need to help her get Jose's grandma, Abuela, to the doctor's office for high blood pressure.

Jonathan had a huge meltdown before church, I whirled around and bitterly, angrily thanked Jose for teaching him how to rage so well, prompting Jose to participate in his own fit while I looked around at the 20 other kids who were dressed and ready to go.

Edgar drove them all to Sunday School and came back to get me, thinking it'd be over and I could then go. But no...Mr. Drag It Out was still slamming around in his room even though Jose had calmed down and was trying to talk some sense into him.

I was absolutely vibrating with anger so I just went out on the front porch to watter the plants.

Eventually Edgar decided stayed home from church, letting me go since he knew I'd have to referee to remaining kids there. He dozed on the sofa, ready to restrain a rager if necessary, but they, both fit-pitchers, slept it off. Jonathan lost pool time as a result, Jose had tried to make up for it and I tend to acknowledge even the most pitiful attempts at recompensation. He helped clean up the house with Sonny after church. Sonny wanted his girlfriend to come over and cleaned way too early for this bunch. Cleaning at 1 doesn't result in a clean house by nightfall. Sorry Erica.

Edgar, on a nice binge, drove Daniel back to Augusta for me as well. Doing something like that for me is a gift of five hours, very precious time. I'm super appreciative.

CJ Having A Fit About Cindy Mae

Jonathan did miss Field Day last Thursday just as I'd threatened him; he watched the kids swim in the pool yesterday for an hour before I let him do so. He'd wanted to disobey me during soccer games yesterday, defy parental authority and do as he pleased. I again explained the consequences that for some unfathomable reason he didn't think would apply to him. He's Jose's baby brother and the defiance, stubbornness and oppositional behavior is sky high.

He spent his Field Day time at my kitchen counter completing his schoolwork. Again, if I don't teach him that negative behavior has negative consequences, he'll be sentenced to the Joey School Of Corrective Behavior AKA JAIL.

A lady commented that she'd mentioned my blog in hers, that she'd linked her favorite post,Chuy's Real Mom, which I reread yesterday, frustrated that little has changed with Chuy since then. Coming up on their fifth anniversary, school letting out for the summer, and he's facing middle school has all combined to some tenuous behavior.

I spent all day yesterday sitting at soccer games and then by the pool as The Lifeguard. FINALLY after supper I fled to the big back garden, I'm still planting tomatoes, a month later than usual, but my free time evaporates minute by minute. I just try to not notice what all is not done, concentrate on what I've accomplished instead but it doesn't work, I want 90 hour days.

Two hours of bliss. Nando by my side, watering the plants, fetching more tomatoes and excitedly talking about last year's garden, reminding me of what all we grew, reassuring himself that I'd do it again. Bubbling over with excitement at next week's soccer camp, full of himself that now he's old enough to go, it's delightful to witness the exuberance of an unjaded five year old.

Sa Weet (Sweet)

Some days are really sweet.

My parents had to wait in the parking lot for a couple of hours waiting on Daniel's drill sergeant to tend to two guys who'd mouthed off. Two 77 year old folks, in the hot Georgia sun, not knowing when Daniel would get to leave, had driven two hours each way just to bring him home, allowing me to stay home and tend to a gazillion things. You can't buy help like that, and they didn't complain at all, whereas I'd have gone postal over the delay.

A lady from church brought us a trailerload of clothes that her three boys had outgrown, just the sizes that we really needed for my three youngest sons. By the time the 18 boys older than them pass down clothes, there's hardly one good sleeve left, and it sure isn't attached to any shirts.

Saray was here with her three kids, and Miss Lisa came by with more bread than even our family can eat. Telling me the silliest story about her Dad mooing at the cows for 45 minutes as we discussed the position we're in now, in our 50s, looking at taking care of our parents at some point.

Miss Robin and Miss Judy, the two teachers that Jose had been hateful and threatening to this week resulting in his suspension, came by to see him. That's the kind of teaching you can't buy either. In Jose's mixed up mind, to see both concern and forgiveness, was unsettling for him yet very productive. He'd spent an hour that morning with Dr. G, going over his behaviors and responses, yet another resource that I'd be sunk without. This back-up system that I have is phenomenal.

Yolie's much older birth sister made a surprise visit. This is emotionally threatening to Yolie on every level, we discuss it for hours, Daniel agreed to go by Yolie's house with me to see her which was surprising but just what their sister needed. I adore her, I feel bad for the fact that she's missed out on so much with these kids. She was married with kids, even had custody of another sib from their original family, back in 1991 when I adopted Yolie, Daniel and Joe. She physically resembles Yolie, you could pick them both out of a crowd as relatives, but emotionally, socially, academically and spiritually they are light years different.

It's a tricky situation for me as well. I'd kind of demanded that Daniel meet her a couple of years ago for her sake, laid a guilt trip on him about it. He was reluctant and somewhat cowed about it, he didn't remember her nor understand what all the emotional fuss was about, but being the sweetheart that he is, he did it. He handled it well, fulfilled a dream of hers which was to hold him once again. She'd lost out on so much. Now that he's so totally grown he accomplished yesterday's visit perfectly and I believe his sister so deserves this time with him, Yolie and Joe.

9, 10, 11 and 12 o'clock games today, the soccer coach at the high school who runs soccer camp called and deeply discounted (75% off per child) the fee this year. Am I blessed or what? He's also allowing five year old Nando to attend. "Does he do well with older kids?" the coach had asked.

Hmmm...he's the baby boy of this family, I certainly think so. He's brave and appropriately aggressive, constantly playing hard in the meadow with all his older brothers. I'd told Nando about this upcoming opportunity and he was all smiles and muscle flexing about it.

Carolina, 38 weeks pregnant, tending to her four other children...waiting and waiting for this next one.

This Is SO NOT What I Pictured For Daniel

Snake City

Daniel, all the way at Fort Gordon, is accessing my blogs on his cell phone. Unbelievable.

Grandma is driving out there to bring him home again this weekend, next week is it for him.

I'm taking Carolina to the OB-GYN this morning to allow Big Jose to go to Baby Yolie's Honor Program, but first I'm dealing with Sear's Repair Service (washer on the blink again), Dr. G's visit and a lady from church who's bringing clothes and furniture

Two different parties this evening and I have 4 flats of unplanted tomatoes, maybe 100 in the ground so far but that doesn't cut it for a salsa-obsessed family. This drought is awful, thank God for wood chips or my plants would've fried already in the sun-baked red clay.

The kids tripped over a snake as they were getting off the school bus, this is getting ridiculous. I'm trying to explain to my overly curious grandchildren who love to explore that they best not pick up any toys that slither. Come tell me if you see one, my dogs bark like crazy at snakes, but the snakes aren't necessarily deterred by elderly canines.

Wonder if today is the day that Estrellita will be born? I wonder that everyday...

Sabrina & Cheerleading

Here I've been a mother for almost 34 years and now I have a cheerleader. We've been involved with a bazillion sports events, but not this. I have my own opinions and I'd much rather see her playing a sport, but she dearly wanted to try out and she was chosen for the basketball team next year. With her good grades and great attitude I couldn't deny her this opportunity, as she sees it.

Oh well, she doesn't understand my horticultural obsessions, these differences are what makes our world interesting.

Yesterday I got to work for nearly six hours straight in the garden out back. I can face the world now. It is so mood-altering, nothing like listening to the hens, an ill tempered goose, and two ribald roosters yell all afternoon. If I look at them, they are quiet, if I look down they holler for attention. I can't weed unless I look down, making for a cacophony of continuous racket.

A counselor for one of my children called me and, while I was pulling weeds, talked me through some stuff. Just the phone call I needed.

It's been seven months since my surgery and the surgeon's office called to confirm an appointment for today that I hadn't written down. Oops. I quickly changed it to August as part of my I-don't-want-to attitude. I weighed myself on a commercial scale in town the other day. 124 fully dressed as compared to 109 last October. That's progress, although I'm only slightly less than a five month pregnant woman.

I feel solid and substantial now, not a gaunt scarecrow. I feel very strong and healthy, but I don't feel like wrestling Edgar anymore as he outweighs me by 40 pounds of muscle. That was so last year.

Someone Needs A Spanking

Should I have a dog....or kids?


This was a forward I received today.

While Jonathan rages in the background, late for school, I ponder the no-spanking admonition.

I don't go spank him, I am ignoring his commotion on the off chance, the theory that one really shouldn't spank formerly abused children.

He is losing Nintendo and computer privileges which he doesn't perceive as much of a threat. He can't put two and two together, he can't relate his misbehavior to the punishment that will occur later when I remind him why he has lost his chances. He just won't care.

In my day, if I'd ever had dreamed of defying my mother like this I would have heard, "I'm going to fry you to a frazzle," loosely translated as "You're sure gonna get a whipping!"

I really think if Jonathan was faced with that threat, he'd straighten up and go to school. But I promised caseworkers I would not spank. So I don't.

BUT maybe I wouldn't have so many kids in trouble right now if I were allowed to do so???

Something to think about even though I do not have that option.

End Of The School Year Explosions

There are eight days of school left counting today, and the the emotional level of our family is off the charts. Emails from both Vanessa and Miriam's teachers telling me what they need to do to pull it out in time. Miriam's Personal Finance grade has plummeted. Of course it has, just as Edgar paved the way for her last year, to not pass this course and watch Mama take it personally.

Miriam's grades have always been good, but here she is at age 18, facing the cold cruel world, grasping on to me while Vanessa tries and pulls away. I'm trying to remind her that nothing will change, I won't put her out, obviously child, look around you at all the grown kids still close to Big Mama, but each child seems to think it won't pertain to them.

Vanessa, alternately clinging and pushing, but overall a typical teenager with mama issues. This is only typical in circumstances like ours; the territory that comes with adopting older kids.

Fabian will not be allowed home for his monthly visit due to his non-compliance at the Outdoor Program. He wrote two letters to Mayra and Martin, telling them if he ever got out of there, he'd do everything right to remain at home with us. Talk's cheap darling, put your money where your mouth is.

Today, and for the next five days, I get Jose all day, iffy on a good day, explosive and irritable when he knows he's not lived up to my expectations of him that include minor things such as not getting kicked out of school. Big Mama Boot Camp once again as I show him that I don't sit around looking at Match.Com entries on the computer all day. Rather it is a non-stop marathon of laundry, errands, and boring stuff so I can free up the evenings for soccer games.

On the good side, spending time with Cindy Mae; a tiny, sleeping little darling as Yolie gets her strength back. Or eating a delicious pasta dish Sarah cooked, time in the gardens and adding 1000 pounds of sand to the sandbox, watching the grandchildren play...the good so outweighs the challenges each day.

ISS and OSS

Spoke too soon.

The middle school called to tell me to come on up asap as Jose was having a meltdown of right impressive proportions. I got there quickly, having to change first, someone commented that they were surprised I'd changed clothes before running to Edgar's accident scene that time. Well I waddle around here in men's boxer shorts and raggedy tank tops, comfort before style of course.

So I ran to the middle school in my going to town outfit - that same old skinny legged pair of jeans and a shirt from a bag given to us. Jose was sitting in the assistant principal's office crying.

There's a good sign. I encourage crying as an alternative to breaking one's fist on a cinderblock wall. He earned 3 days suspension plus In-School suspension for the last five days of school next week. He'd physically threatened a teacher. I am always on the side of teachers and administrators...the kids know that, don't even bother arguing with me.

Jose went to get his book bag and the AP asked me if I ever got to get away from the kids? No, I don't want to get away from the kids. I really don't. I garden.

So he shared his strawberry popcorn heirloom seeds with me that he'd just ordered.

Grass Stains

At 7 this morning when Vanessa was needing an early morning ride to school, Chuy informed me he was a beaver in the mock trial of the big bad wolf. Not only did he need a brown shirt, he also needed me to be at the school at 8 to watch it.

Half color challenged, I found a shirt that could pass but everyone else is hollering it was green-brown. "Can't you just be a grass stained beaver?" I asked in frustration. Heck the kid is brown.

I'm just happy to be a stay-at-home mom and be able to drop my scheduled plans and go support Chuy. I know how much that meant to him, not that he'd ever express it to me or anything, but I saw him light up when he saw Tabby, Nando and I come in.

My phone was vibrating, "Where's Mama?". Probably everyone wondering if Carolina has gone into labor. No,not yet.

Jose has been escalating his predictable end-of-the-year meltdowns. He threatened to not go to school, as if to punish me for his spat with Jose. "You just try and miss that bus," I glowered and he ran pell mell down the hill to the bus.

When Vanessa got caught sneaking out of the house last weekend, she told Miriam that she'd had her cohorts-in-crime drop her off way up on the paved road, and she ran as fast as she could home, knowing I was furious, asking herself, "Why am I running to mom?" After our make up scene, she said she was glad that I cared enough to get mad at her for acting-out like that, even though she's on restrictions now.

Look girlfriend, I will pray you into Heaven. You can fight me all you want but I have way more confidence in God's abilities. Mark Rutland said it best in his book, Resurrection, that God hears the prayers of old ladies and might even be intimidated by them. Oh, don't I like to think so.

Last night at the ballfield, I confessed to Beth that I'd used poetic license to say a Bubba had cracked on Viper Girl, when in reality it was me shooting off my big mouth. The Bubbas aren't that dumb.

That reminds me of Vanessa hooting with laughter the other night there when a lady my age (Strike one), heavier by 40 pounds or so (Strike 2), was sitting on the grass watching soccer and her thong showed out of the back of her pants. (Strike 3, you're out!) Mayra caught sight of the spectacle, and I cringed when Edgar walked up, knowing how opinionated he is about mothers. Fortunately he didn't notice. The rest of the evening was a girl discussion of proper underwear for old farts my age. Apparently granny panties are the only acceptable one for mothers according to the gospel of teens who don't pay bills.

They Pulled It Off

The most dreaded holiday for me turned out as sweet as custard yesterday. A day in which there are no crisis, issues, problems or drama is a great day for me anyway.

I should have been suspicious, my radar should have been tingling, but I was oblivious. Church went easy, we came home, and not only did they shoo me off to my gardens where I worked with a smile on my face until I accidently nearly picked up an 8 foot long posionous snake. I hollered so loud that Lily ran for her snake poster, brought it outside and it's diamond shaped head alarmed us all. Sonny and Miriam cut its head off. A Bubba bravely offered his opinion, "Maybe it came looking for Viper Girl," as all heads turned to see who was dumb enough to say that out loud.

Gina came by with a veggie deli sandwich, Carolina had sent a plate of food, I'd reminded them all let's not have gift-giving pressure, why stress everyone out? Lots of phone calls, I heard from everyone and there was no undercurrent of stress at all. My grown kids are mamas themselves and I feel that they needed to be with their own kids and husbands.

I came inside, wiped out and dirty at suppertime, Vanessa popped out with a surprising suggestion, "Clean yourself up. Miriam, Edgar and Sonny are taking you to the movies, I'll babysit." Oh heck yeah, I'll go. So we did, a comedy that was laugh out loud funny, bordering on trashy (PG13), but I nearly fell out of my seat cracking up so much.

Edgar was driving, and we pulled up to a totally dark house, doors hanging open as usual, and I could hear music blaring. Hmmm...

In our family room, a candlit table, dinner and a powerpoint presentation dedicated to our family. I cried tears of gratitude and love for these children who try so hard sometimes, "Thank you for always putting us first, Mama," Vanessa told me and we settled down for an hour or so of a late night conversation and food, just Vanessa, Edgar, Miriam; me chowing down on my favorite spinach quesadillas.

Happy Mother's Day Bay

My mom, Grandma, is 77 years old, and delighted with her newest great grandchild, Cindy Mae, now 10 days old. Her nickname, given to her by her own brother nearly 80 years ago, is Bay.

I'm as strong as an ox because of my mom, genetically so, and because she's my inspiration. She can work like a dog, and down South that's a compliment.

I always knew I could do anything I set my mind to do, because that's the way she raised me. That's all it takes.

When she ran a real estate business she physically outworked everyone there all the time, retiring only 6 years ago. She still grows a garden, runs up and down the interstate between Georgia and Virginia where her other grandchildren live, and if I'm called out on an emergency, she could get dinner together for my hungry, demanding family, and then stay up playing Rummicubes until she wins.

She reads and plays bridge, loves the beach, runs around here in a bathing suit and swims in the pool.

She's as hard-headed as I am and we are both absolutely beyond opinionated, but it works. Bossy is the word I'm looking for.

But the most important aspect would be the fact that I'm 52 and still close to my mom. You think that doesn't offer up a world of hope to my children? That it can be so for them as well?

Four generations of our family right here, showing my children, emotionally strengthening my kids, and further increasing their own security and self-confidence in the concept of their family.

Thinking About Them

I wish I were in Texas this morning. I'd hug my son and his wife so hard I might crack their bones. I cannot even begin to imagine how tough Mother's Day will be for them today.

As a mom, I want to take away their pain, make it all go away. They were my first thought this morning.

Doll Time

One night last week, as we were absolutely drowning in disaster, Ms. Carr took Lily and Paloma to a doll workshop at our county's arts center. The art teacher from the elementary school went with them, catapulting Lily into adult heaven. Paloma, oblivious to much of life, just had fun.

It was a much needed diversion for the two of them, planned the week before fortunately. Today Ms Carr'd hit the soccer fields, watching many of her students play, quietly demonstrating yet another way that our small, wonderful community functions.

Miss Judy from the middle school emailed me,"When I spoke to the fifth graders this morning, I noted several faces that I knew. I said, "I know I see some Bodies in here. Three raised their hands. I told them how much I have enjoyed their brothers and sisters, and that Sonny has always been so special to me--even though I never taught him.

Later, Martin anxiously awaited the arrival of all three in our classroom, but someone had closed the door--only one came. I asked his name, and he was C. W. I smiled and welcomed him.

You're watching them grow, and we are too. Martin and Jose are having a good year."

I preened with pride, but soon received another email from a different teacher at the same school indicating Martin had gotten a little too big for his britches, borderline sassing a substitute teacher. No sir, I don't think so son, there goes your computer time this weekend.

Trying to overcompensate for his offenses, he and CW just went to Carolina's house to mow and weedeat. CW is in great shape though, a hero on the soccer field for his team today, telling me in the van, "I feel like we just won the World Cup!"

Tell me about it, son.

I'm SO Nosey

Oh My Goodness! A deputy recently told me how I could access the police radio on my computer. I'm listening to it as I type. Are we in the 21st century now or what?

I just heard where they are headed to a possible break-in...

Pulling Ourselves Together

Three nights in a row of very little sleep.

Grieving Lena's loss, we are also relieved to know that she safely made it through surgery. Jesse just called, as sleepless as I, relief in his voice tempered with the severe strain he has been under for a week. He'd let me know several days ago that there was a problem, they've been dealing with it, our family has been praying for them. Frightened and alarmed late last night, I'd notified Pastor Terry. He's the father-in-law of Jesse's former youth pastor, knowing they'd get our prayer request out there for us.

Thanks to all y'all as well. I'd told Jesse that my readership mainly consisted of mamas like me. We all have the same heart for children.

Our other situation will remain unresolved for months as we struggle. The ramifications and implications will last for years. I only answered calls from family members yesterday, a full time endeavor on a good day, on a bad day it seems to take even longer of course.

I finally got the book The Secret and it was just in time as I sorely needed to be pumped up, reinforced and reminded how necessary it is to keep a positive attitude through all battles.

On the phone, late last night with Jesse, he was fighting fear, knowing the potential for a fatal outcome. I told him I was aware of that possibility but let's concentrate right now on a best possible outcome; focus our energy, our prayers and even our will on getting Lena through this. Who doesn't want to believe in hope? We clung to it all night.

I'm believing that our other situation will eventually contain the seeds of success for a kid with a serious issue. I'm old enough to have seen so many positive outcomes, answers to fervent prayers along with help and resources that simply appear to manifest themselves as my dominant thoughts are obsessively aimed toward a solution.

The Law of Attraction, featured in The Secret, is only one of the laws I'd learned a very long time ago in Napoleon Hill's masterpiece Think and Grow Rich. I've practiced this for decades, changed my way of thinking for the better and it's literally how my family grew and grew. It's not about money, this book is about living one's life in fulfillment, and I'd rank it as one of the most important, life changing, eye-opening books that I've ever been fortunate enough to read.

This morning my three fifth graders go to the middle school for a field trip. Talking on the phone to Daniel at the crack of dawn, he bemoaned CW growing up, "That makes me feel so old Mom," as he remembers CW's birth. Daniel and Sonny were the first sixth graders to go to this particular school when it first opened. A decade ago, Daniel was holing a baby CW, now the baby is almost as tall as me. The fastest 11 years on record for us, it seems. The principal's son has been Daniel's friend since they were little, college roommates at one point, now this summer they'll share Daniel's apartment as well.

Grandma and Pa just left for Augusta to pick Daniel up for the weekend.

I've already been to Muffins for Moms in Jack's class. Carolina's son, Mauri, is in the same class. Still 3 cm dilated, headed to a doctor's appointment this morning, Carolina and Abuela (Big Jose's Grandma) made it to Mauri's class somehow for a 7:30 breakfast. She's such a great mom. This afternoon both she and I go to Paloma and Blanca's class party for Moms. As usual, with me having a daughter and a granddaughter in the same class I hear some interesting comments.

It's Scotty's ninth birthday and I'm taking donuts for his class in a minute after Sears comes and fixes my washer. Twenty something kids at home and the washer breaks. Like this week hasn't been challenging enough?

I got a Mother's Day Card from an inmate, Joey, another first for me. It's not lost on me that at the moment I have 4 kids in lock-down facilities of sorts, they are a danger to either themselves or others, yet I've lived with them for decades.

My home is, at the moment, not a tinderbox. Quietness, in the form of stunned silence, more or less is prevailing.

Jesse

When it rains it pours...

Jesse just called me from Texas, asking for prayer, as his wife Lena's pregnancy is ectopic and she's headed into emergency surgery tonight.

I'm a thousand miles away, I wish I were there with him tonight.

Challenges Again

There are some very huge problems to work through at the moment while expecting it all to work out some day some way. There's a lesson in all this; a way for someone to get help for something that blindsided us hard.

I can't be specific as I just can't, this is a tough time.

I told the other kids, "We'll get throught this too, we always do." They're deeply trusting me as it all appears to be very monumental right now.

I'll work through it privately, I'll talk it about later when it's less painful and time has passed.

Stuff

Daniel's girlfriend had taken this picture of Daniel holding Yolie's baby on Sunday, besotted with her already, knowing internally how much better her life will be than Yolie's was in foster care. Daniel knows and appreciates all this, but doesn't sit around and dwell on it for even a split second.

A couple of family matters going on around here, gotta work through them, not discuss them at the moment.

Definitely could use some unsepcified prayers...

Finally Sarah

Don't tell me nagging doesn't work, Sarah's so excited over the CSA that she buckled under my pressure to blog once again.

My Hero's Dubious Distinction

This is the most hilarious story about one of the finest managers in baseball, my hero Bobby Cox. Some might think the man should demonstrate restraint whereas I admire his single minded passion as I believe that's what's made him so successful. Coaches and managers intrigue me way more than the players. I admire the skills and the talents of the team, but focusing, pulling them all together, and motivating the players to produce is where the rubber meets the road.

Both Sarah and Ms. Carr are getting involved with the Full Moon CSA, I've been begging Sarah to blog about it all, to do recipes for large families as I'm constantly being asked the food question. Somewhere in my blog is a list of the ten meals I cook, menu variety is not my strong point. If I ever find it, I'm sending it to Robyn S. I just tried searching but I gotta fly right now.

Barbara Kingsolver's new book has piqued our collective interest.

Soccer and softball schedules are still wearing us out, three games again tonight but get this...the men's church league softball game doesn't even start until 9:30 tonight. That's way past my date with Larry King Live.

I saw a man last night that I hadn't seen for years. Hugging me, he said, "I heard you got married again."

Buddy, you've got to be kidding me. "Did you forget I have kids?" I only had about a dozen or so of them with me at the moment, snickering at the thought of marriage for me.

Since Grandma is out of town, Deysi has stepped up to babysit the younger kids when I have to be out so late at the ballfield.

A couple more prayer requests are for my friend Linda who has tremendous health problems. Sweet Beth needs The Job; the exact right job to come to her. I told her last night at The Social Event (ballfield) that even my feeble mind could remember to pray for two dear friends at one time.

I have one SST meeting this afternoon which totally pales in comparison to Pat, a mother of a large family, who had 5 IEPs in one day. My wiggleworm attitude would disintegrate quickly under that kind of pressure. I can only sit still for short bursts. Right now I'm halfway up the stairs to go off for the day.

School Year Fixing To End

Making two round trips to Ft Gordon for Daniel totally sucked up 8 hours I didn't have, always worth it though just to spend time with him. He'll be back here in his apartment by the end of May thankfully.

Edgar apparently didn't get an apartment, hmmm son, all your clothes and stuff are still in your room, you sleep here, therefore I deduce that you still live here. When you've only had a mom for seven years, I believe that you are only about 7 emotionally, both of us are certain I have so much more to teach him, so much more mothering to strengthen him up.

Miriam blatantly lied to me over something she didn't need permission for anyway. Didn't make sense, she's 18. It aggravated me, I made her come home and stay home for the evening...yes at age 18.

Swamped with too much to tend to lately, I'm spinning my wheels this morning, not even sure where to start. Memaw left a list that she and Jose must hast have today to finish a project, making me head off to Wal-Mart for poster board and Styrofoam balls. It's due tomorrow and they have a game tonight. I must have written a hundred dollars worth of checks this morning for end-of-the-year school parties, field trips, and other miscellaneous.

There's certainly no reason for me to complain though. My friend, Emily, just told me about a really neat kid, he graduated with Daniel and Sonny, who's suddenly facing cancer. A superb athlete and college student, he'd played on Daniel's Little League teams over the years. Daniel was numb with shock, calling another friend of theirs to verify, looking at me for reassurance. I'm hopeful for this young man as he has the best possible, strongest attitude for fighting this battle. I believe attitude is everything, I'm optimistic for the outcome.

I have three games on tonight's schedule, three tomorrow night as well. I'm writing 43 posts a month on the other blog, I do type fast with my two crooked little fingers, thoughts spilling out like diarrhea at times, not a problem for me to produce what with the amount of oddball material I seem to encounter each and every day.

Who Ran That Dern Bill Up?

Sonny came and apologized for his meltdown after he'd spent six hours cooling off. "Boy, what was wrong with you? It's not like you to lose it like that."

"I dunno." Explanation enough for me from a 20 year old male.

Let's move on, at least there was an acknowledgment of wrong doing.

My garden planting is moving even slower as my hours evaporate or slip between my fingers each day. I have about 60 more tomato plants, 40 more peppers to get into the ground, and then I'll plant seeds, weeks behind of my dreamed up schedule.

I think Daniel needs me to drive him back to Augusta sometime today, the Army forbids him from driving until his 16 weeks are up. He'd called Verizon for me, untangled our phone bills, realizing poor Miriam must be exhausted from all that over-texting on her phone, I'd been fussing at Edgar and it apparently wasn't him.

Edgar'd told me he reads my blog to see what I'm thinking. Like you can't tell son? I'm as out there obvious as a two year old at all times. I don't sulk, I holler, I don't hold it in, I vent.

Full Moon

Someone asked if a new birth like this stirred the other kids up and I'd have to say no. The full moon apparently has done so however as my usually affable Sonny wanted to fight with both Jonathan and Jose. I stepped in the middle to pull all three apart and Sonny proceeded to sling chairs around the kitchen, provoking Sergi to get all over him.

Edgar had gone with us to the soccer games but CW, Lily and Jack's birth father, Wesley, stepped in to take over which was good as the three kids adore him. He's so likable and easy going, no drama,no agenda, he simply enjoys being with them.

Big Jose's grandma flew in from El Salvador with corn tamales and goat cheese for us all. It's good to see her again. Carolina is still waiting on her new baby to arrive...

Presenting Cindy Mae

How 'bout this gorgeous baby?

Second night in a row of sleeplessness. A storm blew up, gusts of air billowed through my bedroom, knocking a large palm down the stairs, I just lay there and watched the lightening, deeply grateful for the rain as my garden is frying.

Four soccer games today, I haven't even felt like yard sales. Why bring in more stuff to get destroyed? Let's eliminate the middle man.

I've been on such a tear lately, tossing out catalogs immediately, shredding excess paper, decluttering constantly because I'm aggravated by all this stuff when truly, we don't even have all that much.

I just want to work outside and not have to think about stuff inside the house.

At this point, the round black Spanish radishes are either terribly slow to form or a complete flop compared to the Cherry Belle variety, planted at the same time in the same bed. I used to keep copious garden notes, nowadays I'm lucky to just get the seeds planted. The mache is not doing well while the leaf lettuce is absolutely spectacular.

End of My Week

I still don't have a good picture of the baby to upload but, Lord knows, I have a lifetime with her ahead of me to enjoy. Here's Chuck, Cj and Chuck's father, Charlie.

I might be sleepless and exhausted, but there's nothing like a day with Daniel to revive me.

Carolina is now 3 cm dilated, irregular contractions and a great deal of internal pressure bearing down on her. After her false alarm last night she didn't get home from the hospital until 4 in the morning, I hope she won't be reluctant to go when the real time arrives.

I appreciate all y'all's congratulations and well wishes. I hope that all parents struggling with their children's issues will look at us and feel some hope for later. I'll be the first to agree with everyone that this is so hard at times but the ultimate rewards are staggering.

I say this while Nando is raging at Sabrina right now, Allen is refusing to eat his dinner (the rest of us have been finished for an hour), and Tony is in time-out for his emotionally incendiary comments to the other kids. Mayra's in danger of failing seventh grade and Paloma is as rude and inappripriate as a drunk in church. I just sent a foot-stomping, ill-tempered, door slamming witch to her room.

Flase Alarm

No sooner had I gotten home last night, picked a bushel basket of lettuce and radishes, eaten the entire thing, and it was time to get everyone in bed.

By the time the kids all calmed down, lights out, and I finally got out of my jeans, Carolina called.

Miriam, Mayra and I flew over to her house, just a mile away, while her husband, Jose drove her to the hospital. Baby Yolie and I struggled to calm down 2 year old Tommy; Miriam spent the night there and I headed to the hospital for a false alarm.

Her fifth pregnancy, they called it an irritable uterus...fodder for jokes if I weren't so tired...now she, Jose and I are nervous as cats.

Daniel texting, calling and emailing me to come get him again from Fort Gordon this morning while Edgar'd taken Sonny to the doctor with a pulled muscle. Daniel wants to see Yolie's baby, Yolie'd raised Daniel the first six years of his life in El Paso, they are extremely close to each other.

Jose's grandma is coming tonioght from El Salvador, she's came once about five years ago, we sure could use an extra pair of hands around here now.

CJ's Baby Sister

Suffice it to say I spent all day at the hospital with Yolie, rewarded at 5:30 this afternoon with a beautiful grandchild, Cindy Mae, weighing 6 lbs, 12 ounces.

CJ was there with Chuck, Yolie and I at the hospital, so he and I walked down the road to a Mexican restaurant, to meet up with Sarah and Ray. CJ's other grandparents then came and took him late in the afternoon when Yolie gave birth.

Carolina is still walking around 1 cm dilated....

Today my handsome son-in-law, Preston, turned 41 while my granddaughter, Heidi, turned five. There's still a couple more hours for Carolina's next baby to join this birthday marathon...

The pictures I took of the baby were before she was cleaned up, tomorrow I'll get some of her.

Charter Communications

I finally called Charter Communications, thinking there was an e-billing problem as I strive forward as paperless as possible, how did this dern bill get so high?

Oh.......

On December 9, right before I drove Joey to a homeless shelter, he charged adult movies via pay per view, nearly a hundred dollars worth.

I simply deducted it from some money of his that I'd been holding for him. A lesson learned as I was unaware that this was even possible to do. Doesn't Charter need a password or some sort of authorization? Apparently not, I pitched my little hissy fit, and put a big ole block on this ever happening again.

Prayer Request

An aquaintance of mine needs prayer for a two year old child of his that will have brain surgery next Monday. The child's name is Kami, very special needs, weighs only 10 pounds.

Another Larry King Live Moment

Oprah was his guest last night as he begins celebrating 50 years in broadcasting. I was putting kids to bed, watering houseplants and cleaning my room, half listening to half the show, but enough of it so that I heard two statement that I've since been pondering.

She asked him, "Have you ever been intimidated by anyone you interviewed."

Not even thinking, matter of factly replying, "No," left me in admiration for his tenacity, his skills and an appreciation by me of all I've learned by listening to him over the past several years.

He asked her, "On a scale of 1-10, rate your happiness level."

"15," she responded.

I really like that and it isn't about her wealth either, it's about her zest for challenges and knowledge; her many life experiences and the ability to help others.

That's so impressive to me.

Overall I'd rate my own happiness nearly as high, certainly the challenges are there, I doubt that my frustration factor is much higher than anyone else. This blog could be my forum for complaining about Paloma having a rage last night, breaking a window, and making me miss Vanessa's game or trying to get to an early morning SST meeting tomorrow when Yolie needs me, but everyone has scheduling conflicts each day, our logistics are just multiplied, but so are the rewards and the benefits such as the amount of darling grandbabies.

There's no glamour in my life obviously, but that's not a need of mine.

Martin had an 8 a.m. orthodontist appointment, so now I've gotta get hopping.

Waiting...

Driving past Carolina's house today, Alexander with me in a car seat, I saw Baby Yolie and Tommy outside. I turned the van around, to find out that Carolina, 36 weeks pregnant, had lower back pains, contractions and internal abdominal pressure. I took her to the doctor, Alexander on my hip, only to find out she's 1 cm dilated and they sent her home where the pains subsided after several hours.

I'm on pins and needles. Jose was in Jonesboro, an hour and a half away, Carolina can birth a baby faster than I can tie my shoes.

CW's Birthday

I keep replaying Edgar's accident in my mind, I'm having a hard time shaking it off unlike Mr. Invincible, who should have learned the opposite reaction. I think of other mothers I know and what they've gone through, and I wish I could just move on.

You'd think soccer demands alone would keep me occupied, one practice and two games last night after supper; tonight there's two practices and one game, again forcing us to eat supper nearly directly after school.

After all that Sonny, Gito and I headed to Lisa's house for more breads and pies. Standing there, cutting up and laughing with Susan and Lisa, put me in such a good mood.

CW is 11 today, blah blah blah about time flying, born 10 days after Ellen died, I remember being in utter shock, snapping out of it to deal with a newborn baby, wishing Ellen were still around to see him. She'd have fallen in love. Me not knowing there'd be two more of his siblings to raise, beautiful blessings. Jack, the baby of their bunch, now almost 7 pulled out a loose baby tooth.