Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It Could Be So...Couldn't It?
Other than a bathroom overflowing from the second floor down through the light fixtures, spewing number two and other unsavory matter, this morning was fairly uneventful, at least compared to yesterday.
One daughter has been out of our home in a therapeutic respite situation for a year an a half with no contact. I was so emotionally battered and bruised, stolen from, tired of the deputies reports and school phone calls, and pure T shocked at the level of deceit constantly emanating from her. Her parting gift involved a great deal of fecal matter, leading me to believe her RAD behaviors were nearly sociopathic.
She's Joey's younger sister and their case files were horrific. I understand the 'whys' involved, but the aftermath was even more devastating. Another brother is severely developmentally delayed, cute as a button, charming in public, but shockingly rageful at home to the point that he destroys furniture and other people's belongings.
Their birth mom was an inhalant abuser and an alcoholic, drunk as a skunk when she delivered the last one. I don't remember reading any psychiatric diagnoses, but I'm fairly sure there was some serious mental inadequacies.
I've spent, at least, the last dozen years battling some huge demons here within my house. I truly attribute my tumor surgery two years ago to a byproduct of the crazy stress load I dealt with each day, unable to either eat or sleep for very long periods of time. We're starting to come to a place, hopefully, after so many years have passed, that my children are starting to comprehend that I'm incredibly dedicated and absolutely committed to them and their futures.
Pepe called me last night, very tearfully, quoting what he's heard other therapists say, "Mom, I'm not exhibiting the behaviors that the mom reported."
"Well, duh son, You don't have the mama conflict there, nor any other emotional family demands."
"Oh," he stated, and was quiet for a few minutes. "You might be right."
My wayward daughter, pictured above, came for a visit yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. Later she emailed me with a request to spend the weekend. "I didn't realize how much I missed you all," and she signed it with a 'love u." This after ten years of severely negative treatment involving hatred, theft and nastiness directed at me.
She hugged us all, she's never ever done that. Ever.
Fabian called and we talked about the fact that he's gonna have to be put into alternative school, Miriam dropped by for some poblanos that Carolina cooked up again for us all. I will never not grow poblanos again. Oh my goodness, even Chuck chowed down - he with a much more sensitive stomach than the rest of us.
Edgar'd been in and out all weekend, attending soccer games with us and he took his two baby brothers up to the north Georgia mountains for the afternoon. Nothing could've made them happier.
Could the tide be turning for us? Could it be possible that even my most hard-hearted, damaged children are beginning to believe that I'm the real mom now?
I think it could be so.
I really do.