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Day Five of a refusal to go to school. "Make him go!" I'm told by others.

How?

How does one drag a kicking, screaming, raging kid who's hitting and lashing out...get him dressed and out the door without being injured?

It is not physically possible. Yes, I can take away all privileges, but that doesn't get him to school as it simply doesn't matter to him.

This is what mental illness is. There is no logic.

Asked, in a comment, about my assumption regarding mental illnesses before I adopted?

I had none.

It didn't even dawn on me that this would be a possibility.

I could call the police, press 'unruly child' charges, but I would still have a mentally ill kid with no services other than Medicaid paid-for therapy and medications that aren't touching this at all.

Like a lion, seeking to devour or to destroy, this child is walking around my house mumbling and refusing to comply with any directives at all.

My laptop thief, now homeless, gave all the kids a good talking to after church last night in the parking lot. A big ole, "I wish I could have a do-over. I wish I could rewind the years and make better choices because Mom was right. This is what happens when one lies and steals."

Silence as all eyes stared at him. I hugged him good-bye, "I'm still your mom. Make good choices."

He went off into the night. He's a grown man who has lost many jobs, alienated a ton of folks, and is having to start over with nothing.

It's on him now, not me. No one could ever accuse me of not teaching my children about life. If anything, I've concentrated more on life skills than academics.

Jonathan won't even have that ability. A mid to low I.Q., and a staggering lack of logic, combined with severe oppositionalism and likely, many more-to-come mental diagnoses.

I'm limply, weariedly, resignedly so very sad that adoptive, or birth, parents receive no help, and that we are expected to manage these behaviors and keep everyone safe.

I'm simply very sad and very resigned, yet still praying for a miracle.

I'm up to my neck in getting stuff done and I'll answer emails and comments as soon as I can. I really appreciate the many ways y'all have reached out to me. Thank you so much, it means the world to me.