Tuesday, October 13, 2009

All Good Today

It's probably no surprise that I drink herbal teas. I grow lemon balm, chocolate mint and regular mint, but yesterday I tried store-bought a Yerba variety, not even knowing what it really was, but finding myself deliciously hooked on it.

Official estimates indicate some four inches of rain fell here in one day, absolutely thrilling me as the roots of next year's perennial crops appreciated the bounty.

I finished the Joel Sallatin book, started the No Impact Man which had me at hello.

We surprisingly had one rather violent fight between Jonathan and Paloma, pulled apart by Mayra and Allen, me reminding them both that this kind of behavior could be met with assault charges, receiving furious, insane, guttural, "I don't CARE!" in a ludicrous dual response.

"Ok, if you can agree on that one issue, you should be able to compromise on others," I pointed out, further muddying their mixed-up thinking processes apparently as both simply stared at me.

Doing laundry and thinking, thinking, thinking about God's Will for me. Obviously it was for this, but with so many failures, so much apparent time-wasting as I've ended up with criminals and still can't comprehend why their brains are so mis-wired, I just made it about me.

Maybe...had I not done this...maybe I would be the one far from God? Maybe it took all this to bring a very strong woman to her knees? Maybe I'd have just stupidly thought I can do everything. Period. Conveniently forgetting the next line, the admonition 'through Christ who strengthens me.'

Knowing my very stubborn, hard-headed, driven self, as well as I do, I'm positive, without the 39 kids and their demands and challenges to change me into a more dependent on God person, I really might have strayed away, bored and hungry, restless and curious, like a dumb puppy who licks an electrical socket, clueless as to the danger nor the consequences, that'd likely have been me with tongue burns and a shocked look upon her face.

Now I'm starting to get it, to understand a little bit more.

I can look at my next fifty years and gladly pursue sustainability and be on fire about it, but remaining close to God, which is clearly where I need to be, if only just to keep my ownself out of trouble and mischief.

Reading The Simple Dollar today, considering minimalism in my finances as well, nodding my head and moving forward, right happy and content at the moment, but knowing an ill wind can, and will, blow on us again. I do look back at where we've been emotionally and am truly amazed at all God has brought us through...places I'd have died of utter despair without Him...and I thought I was so strong?

Fall Break is over, the kids are back in school, the groceries eliminated, devoured as though extreme pestilence sprung over us all. I have two soccer games tonight, the last one doesn't even start until 8:30, promising a long night for us, the logistics nearly physically impossible, as I still have to pick up CW and Chuy from football practice at the same time that Nando and Tabby's game begins.

I already have supper planned and halfway ready, knowing we'll have to eat at four in order to get to three events tonight, no problem really as I gain strength from positive endeavors, in very sharp contrast to some of the extremely hellish moments we have endured over the years.

This is all good today.