Sunday, September 26, 2010
Forgiving Part 4789
Random photo by Allen while we were leaving church today, out the van window, messing with my phone as usual.
My pastor taught a great sermon on forgiveness, me having received the brunt end of so much violence and acting out, having to constantly forgive those that are mis-wired or otherwise socially challenged, mistakenly thinking that lashing out is proper conversation. I had no issue with any of his thoughts today. I've never been one for retaliation nor revenge, I don't even like any sort of confrontation, no dumb war games, preferring to be alone anyway, where it's usually more peaceful
Pastor Tony talked about forgiveness meaning you don't have to jump back in and trust the other person, nor enable them to continue their hurtful ways, nor should you set conditions on your terms of forgiveness - just do it and set up boundaries.
I kept smarting off to Sarah through the service. Boundaries? I want space...lots of space, and then the boundaries can be set up outside of that space, but I want an inner moat as well, filled with alligators and gunned turrets on the top.
I'm tired of being used and abused, lied to and stolen from, my patience wearing very, very thin.
I do forgive, and then I'm done with it, moving on, preferring my avoidance techniques, slamming my gates shut, and staying isolated down my dirt road obsessing over the futility of industrial agriculture, and figuring out all the more ways that aversion will contribute to my hermit-like preferences.