A Quiet Christmas Eve

Can't imagine that any of y'all mamas have time to read my rumblings what with Christmas preparations and family demands.

Our familial anxiety levels are predictably amped up. Yolie explained to me long ago that it was a time in which they all wondered if their birth families even thought about the, during the Holidays. Or worse yet, they recalled drunken or drug-fueled bad memories of those times where they'd cower in fear.

So you would think that conversely nowadays with a mom who never touches alcohol, a mom who provides food, security, stability, etc. ... well one might venture to reason that there'd now be some semblance of gratitude, maybe even joy?

But it's not to be so and I've learned to accept it and even to comprehend the depths of what they must've endured.

It is what it is, and I'm the one who has learned some gratitude for mere peace and safety.

I heard from The Adoption Counselor, my dear friend Brenda, who cracked me up yesterday now that she doesn't feel compelled to bake cookies for the police...just in case she needed them to restore law and order.

That we can laugh now? Thank you Lord.