Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Martin's 19 Now

My baby boy, Martin, is now 19 today, gonna be a Super Senior, doing the victory lap another semester, and I'm OK with that.  He's been a great son, he hasn't quit trying at school, he's easy to live with, having been my son since a month before his fourth birthday, the only kid in his sib group without a significant mental health diagnosis.

Way back when, I totally didn't comprehend that these issues were nearly insurmountable, that they'll plague the kids for life.  How unfair for them, it breaks my heart, and likely gets worse later when they're grown and don't have heavy duty parental influence, getting them to therapy, managing medications, re-directing behaviors (for all the good that ever did) and paving the way in school to access resources.

It's very frustrating for the parents, how much more so for the kid?

Indeed, disengaging becomes the only tactic in the later years or it's be a Battle Royale every single day, more like every single minute.

I've already frustratedly raised my voice twice in the last 24 hours as the cyclothymic disordered one always melts down when his behavior is corrected, leaving me with little hope that he's been able to learn much all these years.  He's either being ugly to me, to the other kids or to a teacher, feeling somehow justified in his mind.  I've been 100% unable to explain to him that this does not bode well for his future.

Another kid picked a fight with me this morning over his one simple chore, then felt justified in his mind to not do said chore.

Dude, this isn't my first rodeo.  Don't do it.  It doesn't affect my life that much at all.  I do 99.99% of everything around here as it is.

I never get sick, my immune system is at about a million percent, or at least I never get sick enough to take to the bed.  I have tons to do today and my lungs, hurt but so what?  One Aleve and I'm good to go.  Downing Vitamin C for good measure as I'm simply not allowed to retreat and heal.

I'd taken Martin birthday shopping yesterday, he'd also ordered something on-line, filled out a job application and just basically continued to be a Honey, something so rare around here that I wanna proclaim it aloud this morning.

And prayers for the Ellis family, my niece's grandfather, Billy Ellis, is fighting hard against pulmonary fibrosis, the exact same thing that took my own father.  What're the chances that Lauren would have two normally healthy grandfathers with this same disease?  It makes me heartsick.  Still praying for Beth's mom and for Nancy Bender, just because I might go awhile without mentioning it here doesn't mean I'm not praying.